Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I do not own My Chemical Romance (they belong to Reprise Records), Gerard Way, Tracy Phillips nor any other thing that pops up here that would never possibly be owned by a thirteen-year-old kid like me. This is a work of fiction and may never be proven true. (Read “Artist’s Comments” first for the summary and other stuff)

Tracy hadn’t seen any sign of Gerard for about a week now. He was never at the mall, he wasn’t at the park, nor at the movies and he certainly didn’t come back to the club. He didn’t send any messages or make any calls due to the very simple fact that he did not have her number (which depressed her quite a bit).

In fact, Tracy was beginning to think that maybe – just maybe – he’d already forgotten about her. Besides, what sort of mark would sleeping and waking up in someone else’s room make in your life? …Right. Nothing.

As Tracy sat within the comic book stand, flipping through the pages of the latest issue of Supergirl, she thought of all this. “I am so screwed,” she said softly to herself, half wondering what her purpose for visiting the stand was.


Gerard Way entered the mall checking his phone again and again because it kept on ringing, blaring out a Pencey Prep song which Frank himself composed. He opened his inbox and scrolled down. DRAKE, DRAKE, DRAKE, DRAKE and DRAKE.

“Dammit,” Gerard murmured, tucking the phone back in his pocket. “How many messages has that ass sent me…?” He rolled his eyes and walked towards the supermarket section, which was just around the corner near the bookstore.

Upon entering the grocery store, a swirl of different smells and odors (not fragrances) overwhelmed him. “Eugh.” Believe it or not, it was his first time to venture off in there by himself; he and his brother usually came along with their parents.

Pulling up a basket, he walked cautiously around the isles. He dug up a piece of crumpled paper from his pocket and read the notes that his mother, Donna, had written for him. “Number one… apples,” he murmured.

Gerard looked up and stared at the signs above the isles. “Come on, come on… Fruits, please…” He took a sharp turn round a left curve and immediately found what he was looking for. …The fruit stand.


Tracy strolled into the bookstore, half-expecting Gerard to be the there. If he wasn’t at the comic stand, he was surely at the bookstore, right? …Wrong. Who was she kidding? It didn’t seem like he was at the mall today anyway, just like he wasn’t yesterday, the day before yesterday, and the day before that. She now considers herself crazy for looking for someone who might not even be there.

“I am now crazy for looking for someone who might not even be there,” Tracy told herself as she picked The Devil Wears Prada up from a nearby shelf. She flipped through the pages – they smelled new and fresh. “I always wanted to read this…” She groped for her wallet and stared at the remaining money. She shrugged. “I guess it’s enough.”

Tracy held the book close to her and went around the shelves some more. She wasn’t planning on buying anything more than that book, but she just wanted to look around a bit. It felt like a long time ago when she last did this. It seemed like …for the past few years, she’d been concentrating only on her job and her social life. She didn’t appear to have time to look deep inside her. To listen to her heart…


Gerard went out the grocery, relieved to finally escape the horrible smells emanating from within it. He carried a little plastic bag that contained all the items that his mother had forced him to buy. He would’ve lugged it around like some trolley, but he figured it would be inappropriate – not to mention the dirty looks grown-ups would be giving him. He let loose a yawn. “Well, on the bright side, I’ll be meeting Frank today,” he mumbled to himself, checking his watch. “Speaking of which, I should be getting there now…”

Gerard quickened his pace, but stopped… He stopped as soon as he saw the bookstore. He bit his lip and looked up. The words on top of the bookstore looked so inviting. It said something about a new stock of children’s books, novels and… oh, shit… graphic novels… Gerard couldn’t resist. Graphic novels, for Pete’s sake.

One part of his brain said that he should just leave it and head on to the coffee shop. Perhaps Frank was over there, waiting already. Besides, he had enough comics… Then again, another part – the BIGGER one – wanted to take him in… He loved comic books. Why should he not answer to his calling? It was so damn tempting anyway… Gerard shrugged.

The next moment, he found himself among the isles, checking out the new books. Spiderman? X-Men? Justice League of America? Wolverine? He reached for his wallet and opened it. He figured that if he were in some sort of cartoon, flies would animatedly come flying out of his wallet. “Great,” he told himself. “Not enough cash.” He looked up, as if the heavens would send him a butt load of dollars.


Tracy counted her money and headed over to the cash register to pay for her book. The “looking-around-the-isles” thing seemed to work out well, and now, she had a long list of books she wanted to get the next time she went back here. She whistled to herself and walked past the isles. As she did so, she read the little signs on top of each one. Children’s Books… Young Adults/Teens… Novels… Mangas… Graphic Novels… Tracy stopped.

She turned her attention to the person within the isle, seemingly cursing his wallet. He had shaggy black hair, a deathly pale complexion, a black hoodie and tattered pants… She couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Gerard Way?”


Gerard looked up. Someone had called him. He turned to his left and saw… He wrinkled his forehead and squinted. Wavy black hair and all-too-familiar icy blue eyes… He couldn’t keep himself from grinning. “Tracy?” he said in a very strange voice. Goofy smile, I know…

It was a long time since he had last seen her, but somehow… he couldn’t simply cast her away and forget about her. He himself didn’t know why. Ah, who the fuck cares? She’s here now, isn’t she? Gerard, tucked his wallet back in his pocket and went over to Tracy, a person he couldn’t even consider a friend yet… When had they met? How? It was all so simple. Then, quicker than anybody had expected, good-byes were said. It was only about time before they met again.

Today was that time, and Gerard was going to make today last as long as he could… At least… that was what he was thinking, now that she was here. He held his hand out. “Long time, no see, Tracy,” he said, trying to sound as casual as he could. Try as he might, something was stuck in his throat, for some strange and unknown reason. “How long has it been? A week?”

Tracy smiled at him as she shook his hand. “Yeah, a week,” she said. Gerard couldn’t quite believe that she still remembered him… Then again, he woke up in her room. Wouldn’t you remember that? He certainly did. Not to mention, the empty afternoons he spent trying to get her face right on paper. Somehow, he just couldn’t… Something was missing. Right. Her essence.

“Um, wow… this was unexpected,” Gerard started, fumbling with his words. He honestly didn’t imagine seeing her here or anywhere, for that matter. “What are you doing here? In the bookstore, I mean.”

Tracy gave him a wise-ass smile, making it seem as if the answer was obvious. …Which was true, anyway. “Duh, Gerard,” she said in that feminine, but firm voice of hers. She held up a book. “You buy books in the bookstore. I do too.” She raised an eyebrow at him, and folded her arms. Gerard stared at her for a second, and then let loose a little chuckle. “Sure, Tracy…Sure,” he said, nodding.

Tracy shrugged and walked along the isles, with Gerard beside her. She fingered the red spine of the book in her hands, turning it round and round with nimble reflexes. Cool, Gerard thought, as he watched her slender hands turn the book over. She’s that fast. “So, uh… What about you, Gerard? What brings you here?”

Gerard looked up once Tracy asked him a question. He understood that. Normally, people like himself – whatever he was – either never went to the mall or only went there because they needed to check the bookstore and/or the comic book stand for new arrivals. Tracy must’ve noticed that in him, or something.

Gerard stroked the back of his head. “Well… let’s just say my mom was too lazy to get the groceries,” he answered. Tracy laughed. Her laughter made him think of a harmonic clash of violin strings, even though it didn’t really resemble that. That’s just what I think, okay? Don’t sue me…


Tracy couldn’t believe she was actually talking to Gerard again. She didn’t really know him that well, and they just met once – which seemed like a really short encounter, anyway – but it felt like such a release to see him again. It was weird. Still, she didn’t want this to end as quickly as it did the first time. She wanted to spend some quality time together… Perhaps that was why she wanted to see him. So she could know him more…

She paid for the book, had it covered, took it, and the two of them walked out of the bookstore. “So much for the comics,” Gerard said, looking forlornly up at the signs. He shrugged. “Ah, well… Off to hell with that. I don’t have much cash on me anyway.” Tracy chuckled a bit at that little comment Gerard said.

Now… to more important things…

Tracy clasped and unclasped her hands. “Do you, uh, have anything to do? You know, like… after this?” she asked, thinking of the proper things to say. Basically, there were a lot of things in her mind, but she couldn’t seem to find some sort of medium to use that could level her thoughts. Something that could get her to let the words out in a sort of orderly manner. …Currently, there wasn’t any of that “medium”.

Gerard looked at her. There was something in his features… Whatever it was, Tracy couldn’t decipher it. It looked hopeful… yet quite hesitant. She didn’t get it. “Well, that is… if… you have nothing to do, but… well, if you do… No need to,” she quickly added. Looking back on that, she couldn’t quite get what she blurted out – all a mess of words.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments. How lovely. I hate it when things like this happen, Tracy thought. About a few seconds later, though, Gerard broke the silence. “Um, well… I do have a little meeting with Frank over at a certain coffee shop,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets. “You wanna come with?”

Tracy thought for a moment. “I wouldn’t want to intrude,” she said. It would simply be rude of her to just… barge into that. This “Frank” fellow might not even like her around. Gerard, however, shook his head. “No, it’s okay,” he told her. “Frank’s okay with stuff like that.” Tracy hoped that was the truth, and not just something Gerard said to make her feel better. …Should I go? … Think about it… This might probably be the last time you’ll see him. GO ON.

A few more seconds of silence… Tracy looked up, and nodded. “Sure, I guess,” she shrugged, trying to put on a smile. Maybe this day could even end right…